


I'm a disaster

by littlexredxwolf



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV), Game of Thrones (Video Game 2014), Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Cousin Incest, Eventual Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Half-Sibling Incest, Incest, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 16:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18450083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlexredxwolf/pseuds/littlexredxwolf
Summary: Jon and Sansa have never really had much to do with each other, but when they are being pulled apart to leave for the wall and for King's landing, they realise it will be along time before they see each other again and need to say goodbye.





	I'm a disaster

**Author's Note:**

> The song featured in this is called what is a youth, it is from the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack (1968) and it’s by Nino Rota

He approached her door, his palms sweaty and his stomach churning. He had no gift for her, no words of wisdom, and no promises of adventure for her. He just wanted to see her, just one last time before he took the black and she went off to be queen. He didn't even know why he wanted to say goodbye, Sansa Stark was far too much like her mother and always gave him the impression that she hated him.

Standing outside he could hear her singing, oh how he loved to hear that. She had such a soothing voice and it calmed him down when he was having a bad day, it made him smile even when Lady Catelyn was horrible. Stepping to the door, he stood still hardly breathing as he listened to her song.

_What is a youth? Impetuous fire._  
What is a maid? Ice and desire.  
The world wags on.  
A rose will bloom It then will fade  
So does a youth. So do-o-o-oes the fairest maid.

He knew this song; he had heard her sing it when she was sad… Was she sad? How could she be sad, she was about to get everything she ever wanted. She was going to be admired by all, desired by knights, longed for by so many. Yet he could hear in her voice, she was sad. He reached out and placed a hand on the door, wanting to knock but not wanting to stop the beautiful melody.

_Caper the cape, but sing me the song,_  
Death will come soon to hush us along.   
Sweeter than honey and bitter as gall.   
Love is the pastime that never will pall.   
Sweeter than honey...and bitter as gall   
Cupid he rules us all!

He knocked; he sucked in a breath as the singing stopped. "Arya, for the last time I'm not packing for you!" Sansa snapped as she opened the door. "Jon." She uttered looking up at him; clearly, he was the last person that she expected to find at her door. "Is Arya trying to get you to pack for her?" He said amusement in his face. "Yes." She said gently before moving so that he could come inside.

Her room was so different from Arya's, it was clean everything was put away nicely, maybe that was another Tully Trait held by the oldest Stark girl. The sound of the door shutting, caused him to realize that they were all alone, they'd never been alone before, not like this. Jon studied her as she moved past him and began to finish her packing. "Did you want something Jon?" Sansa asked softly, looking at him.

"Right, yes. I came to say goodbye." He said gently. "But then I heard you singing, and wondered if you're alright." He explained Sansa smiled that fake smile she always did when she was trying to put on a brave face. Jon knew all her smiles, the truly happy smile was his favourite, but he'd not seen that smile in a very long time. "I'm fine, why would you think otherwise?" She asked as she closed her case.

It was Jon's turn to fake a smile, although he didn't expect her to know the fake smiles as he knew hers. Pushing a hand through his dark locks, he looked at her and sighed. "You're not a great liar Sansa, if you plan to go to the capital, you'll need to get better." He advised her, before walking over and looking down at her. "I heard you singing, you only sing that when you're upset." He said gently. "What's wrong?" His words caused her to swallow and take a step back.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking Jon." She said trying to put a bit of space between them, instinctively he reached out and grabbed her hand. "Sansa." Jon pulled her back to him, looking down at her, he touched her cheek. "We might have never been close; you might have always hated me." Sansa looked up at him and instantly replied. "I don't hate you." Her words caused his heart to jump, she didn't hate him? "I'm sorry if I gave you that impression." She uttered gently.

His thumb grazed across her cheek, unable to look away from her. "What's wrong Sansa?" He asked, biting his lip as he looked into her eyes. "What if… what if everyone hates me at Kingslanding? What if Joffrey doesn't like me?" She said starting to rattle off worries. "Then he's an idiot as well as a cunt." He replied looking down at her. "Prince or not, anyone who doesn't like you they are a fool." He said his thumb stilling on her cheek. Sansa's heart started to flutter; Goosebumps ran up her body as they looked at each other, as he touched her and spoke such kind words.

"You're the most beautiful woman that I've ever met Sansa Stark, you are also smart, charming and funny. Everybody will love you." He said gently as he leaned in closer to her, her body instinctively moved in with him. His other hand moved to touch her other cheek as he looked down into her eyes, cupping her beautiful porcelain face so gently so not to break it. "If they don't, send them to the wall, I'll teach them a thing or two." He uttered, a small smile gracing his face. "The next time we see each other, I'll be a crow and you'll be the queen." He swallowed, his heartbreaking at that thought. "He's a lucky man, I hope he knows that."

The pair fell silent, looking into each other's eyes. Their lips close to each other, Jon was sure he could hear Sansa's heart beating just like his was. Did she want him? Did she long for him the way he longed for her? "Sansa," He whispered softly, before leaning in, he was sure she craved him the same way. "Jon," He loved the way she said his name, it was like music to his ears. Their lips were so close, maybe only an inch apart from touching.

He wanted her to ask him to stay, wanted to have her ask him to not take the black and be here with her. He wondered if he asked her to not marry Joffrey if he would or not, there was doubt in his gut, however. Jon knew she was meant to be a queen, just from the way she held herself. He couldn’t keep her here; he couldn’t ask her to be with him. He was just a bastard.

"Sansa, are you packed? It's almost time to go." The voice came from the other side of the door; he could see the conflict in her eyes. "Almost," She called gently. Jon moved his head and kissed her forehead if he felt her heart sink then he'd know it was the wrong move. But he knew that it was better, she was almost a taken woman. Resting his head on her forehead, he sighed. "Goodbye, Sansa." He uttered gently. "Goodbye, Jon."

He pulled away from her and looked at her before he walked out of the door. His heart broke as he walked away, knowing she could never be his. His shoulders sunk as he walked to get his bag, if only he knew that Sansa was looking just as broken as he was right now. He got his things and walked out to his horse. Looking around, he saw Sansa getting up onto the cart, a sad expression on his face. "Jon?" Looking at Robb, Jon hugged him tightly. "Next time I see you, you'll be all in black." He laughed softly. "It was always my colour." He said gently. "Goodbye Stark." He said to Robb. "Goodbye Snow." Robb moved away and watched him as he got on his horse and left.

As they came to the fork in the road, Jon said his goodbye to his father. He found himself looking to Sansa, just wanting one final look at her. She gazed back at him, the same look of sadness in her eyes as in his. "Goodbye." She mouthed, before looking away. He watched her leave along with their father and sister and sighed. "Goodbye… my love." He whispered to himself, before riding after his Uncle and away from the life he knew.


End file.
